There's a brutal truth about life that some people refuse to accept—you have no control over many of the things that happen to you.

People who resist this truth fall into two categories—control freaks or worry warts. Control freaks believe if they can gain enough control over others, and the situations they find themselves in, they can somehow prevent bad things from happening.

Worry warts, on the other hand, afraid about everything from natural disasters to deadly diseases. It’s as if they believe thinking hard enough about all the potential worst case scenarios will somehow keep them safe.

But neither of these strategies can prevent a catastrophe. Instead, worry warts and control freaks put their time and energy into the wrong places. And ultimately, those strategies backfire and create even more stress.

 ways to stop stressing about the things you can't control:

You must determine what you can control because in reality, there are many things in life you have zero control over. You can’t force your spouse to change, you can’t prevent a storm from happening, and you can’t control how other people feel.

Sometimes, all you can control is your effort and your attitude. When you put your energy into the things you can control, you'll be much more effective.

Identify your fears because usually, the worst case scenario isn't as horrible as you might imagine. But quite often, people are so busying thinking, "This is going to be a disaster," that they don't take the time to ask themselves, "What would I do if the worst case scenario came true?"

Perhaps you’d struggle for a while, but there’s a good chance you’re mentally strong enough to bounce back. Acknowledging that you can handle the worst case scenario can help you put your energy into more productive places.

Must concentrate on your influence because you really can't force things to go your way but you can have a strong influence and to have the most influence, however, you need to be in control of your behavior. So do your best and keep a good attitude.

When you have concerns about someone else's choices, share your opinion, but only share it once. Don't try to fix people who don't want to be fixed.

Other than that, differentiate between ruminating and problem-solving. Replaying yesterday’s conversations in your head and dwelling on catastrophic outcomes isn't helpful. But solving a problem is.

So ask yourself whether you’re ruminating or problem-solving. If you are seeking solutions, keep thinking about ways to prevent problems and increase your chances of success.

If you're ruminating, however, change the channel in your brain. Acknowledge that your thoughts aren't helpful. Get involved in an activity that will distract you for a few minutes and get your brain focused on something more productive.

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